Purchasing Intentionality & Deleting Fleeting Desire
Like all great wisdom, these lessons too are birthed by some painful mistakes. Follow along and hopefully you’ll learn something new!
Money is different for everyone. Well, not the money itself but our relationship to it. Some spend more than they have, others save more than they can afford. Everything affects the way we relate to money: Past relationships, our family values, the places we grew up, where we work, the people we spend time with, etc. This means if you’re looking to improve your money habits, going back through your life story to find what is causing the issue can work, but it’s a lengthy process. I’ve got a better solution for you.
Rather than focusing on the past to find your undoing, try focusing on what you can change in the present. The trap of the past can be a tricky place. In some ways it’s essential to be able to understand who you are today, without reflection, you’re left ignorant about why you are, who you are. But, sometimes why can become a distraction to the bigger question of what. Often, if you know what needs changing it’s not also necessary to know why it exists in the first place. Why can be an important tool in helping build a plan to change what is wrong, but it can also just be an escape mechanism to avoid making any actual change. So, keep in mind that change begins with what, but why can better help you understand what, should it be necessary. Anyway, that’s enough with the tangent.
Money is EASY to spend, and it’s intentional! Put yourself in the mind of a business whose product is money, their goal is to make money with money. Companies such as Visa, Mastercard, Square, PayPal or literally any bank ever. They make money with your money, somehow, somewhere, they’re making money or they wouldn’t exist. Just because you’re not on the receiving end of the charges, doesn’t mean they don’t exist. The more you use their services the more money they make, it functions the same as any other business. The problem being that their service is helping you spend money. This means that one of the most profitable endeavours these companies can go on is making it easier for you to spend your money, because the more you spend the more they make. Credit cards, payWave, online banking or even 24\7 ATMs all serve the needs of the business first as ways to generate more money, the benefits they provide to you are there only because they help the companies make more money.
But you’re not a victim and the previous paragraph isn’t aimed at labeling you one. I only wish to help inform you as to why it’s so easy to spend money. Ultimately, you’re the master of your money and every dollar spent is a choice made by you. So don’t blame big business for your wrongdoing, you’ll get nowhere fast. However, I’ve got some tools to help you balance the scales.
My absolute favourite way to keep my spending intentional is to, follow only the desires created with me and not the desires created outside me. A little confusing you say? I understand and I’ll explain. There are many different methods employed by businesses to get their products to your attention. These are external desires. Products are placed in front of you with the hope that it will spark a desire within you to purchase said products, for if you don’t know they exist how could you ever wish to buy them? You want to avoid these where possible, if you didn’t want it before you knew it existed then chances are you don’t need it in the first place. You’ll know what you genuinely need because you’ll want it before you even know who sells it or where to get it.
Some examples to help explain.
For some time I had wanted a pair of Bluetooth earphones that I could use whilst cycling. I had no idea how much they cost, what features were available or even where to buy them. I just knew I wanted a pair and chose to seek out a place where I could fulfil my desire. This is a great example of an internal desire, I had no idea of the details surrounding my purchase just that I wanted it. I had to find something that matched what I desired.
In contrast, I was once walking past a kitchen and homewares shop and noticed a 60% off sale. I stopped by, justified my need for some of their products and left with a few things. The difference here is that I had no desire whatsoever for the products that I purchased before I knew they existed. My desire was created only after discovering the product. This is a sure sign that your spending is unintentional, if your desire was created only after coming in contact with the product. Now, this isn’t to say that all desires created by discovering a new product are bad, but we will touch on the details of this further in the next tip.
Tip Number 1 - Don’t buy things you didn’t want before you knew they existed. Try to only buy things that you have to actively seek out.
If you follow the first tip religiously, you’ll find that every so often you discover a product you desire but the desire won’t go away. Not after a week, not after a month. This is a great sign that your desires are intentional, if they stay and refuse to leave. If you truly want something the desire won’t go away.
Tip Number 2 - Wait to buy. If you discover something that you really want, wait to buy it. Keep a list of all the things you would like to buy and then forget about them. If you find that a week or a few later you’re still dreaming about your new product, chances are that it’s deeper than a fleeting desire and you may genuinely have some need for it. Keeping a purchase list has worked wonders for me, you’ll be surprised how many items make it on the list but never actually get purchased. Given enough time you may see through the shallowness of your own desires and decide not to purchase them. Often I’ve found that giving myself time between desire and purchase has given me a chance to find a cheaper (or better) solution to my wishes. Something I may not have discovered had my purchase been immediate. Simply put, waiting to buy gives you time to decide if you actually need it and also time to explore other options before making a purchase.
Tip Number 3 - Don’t shop aimlessly. A shop, be it online or physical, is designed to present its products well. Going window shopping is a surefire way to spend unintentionally because the very purpose of a shop is to sell things people want. If you go to a shop without having some idea of what you’re looking for, chances are you’re going to find something, after all, that’s the point of a shop. Window shopping is the enemy of intentionality, even if you’re planning to not buy anything some part of you is seeking to spend money without even knowing what you want yet. If you’re looking to hold on to your money this is to be avoided at all costs. However, some exceptions apply. There are times in life when rules are supposed to be broken… Maybe you’re on holiday and want to get a nice souvenir. You’ll need to wander around to find it as you’re still unsure of exactly what you’re looking for. There is nothing wrong with this, just develop some intentionality in your seeking before you go. Decide on a price range, develop some ideas about what you might like to find or even pick out a few shops in advance that seem to fit your needs. If you aimlessly wander, you’ll aimlessly spend.
There are an endless number of things you could spend your money on, which is why it’s so important to get an understanding of what you’re looking for before you go shopping.
The summary of this writing is honestly just that. Know what you want before you go shopping, if you do find something you want while you’re out give it some time and see if it sticks. If you can’t find a better deal or replacement for the desire, then go for it.
There really are no rules when it comes to spending your own money. This is why it’s important to develop some sense of intentionality around your spending habits. To know why you buy the things you do, and to understand for what reasons you want the things you do. The three tips I’ve shared above are really just the guides that I use to help keep my desires on track with my needs. Whether they will work for you I’m not sure, but I would encourage you to try them, adapt them or develop your own. As you’re unique in your own needs, no rule can fit you perfectly, but if you don’t create some wise barriers to your spending, chances are you’ll dispense your money on your fleeting desires, not the things that truly give you fulfilment.
There are so many things in life that can offer us a real sense of meaning. But when we’re constantly distracted by the fleeting desires that are placed in front of us minute by minute, we will have nothing left to invest in the meaningful.
Being intentional with your money isn’t about becoming rich or sticking it to the man, it’s about taking back your power to invest in the things that make you happy. Not giving your money to the temporary happiness of fleeting desires.
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