What Does It Mean to Be Successful?
The answer is in the definition.
Success is an elusive thing, contrary to what pop culture might have us believe. What does success actually look like? Is success really just a big house and a nice car? Maybe. The tricky thing about this answer is that most people would take the big house and the nice car if it were offered. But does that really make it a good standard for success?
It’s true that as a society we share similar goals: health, wealth, safety, security, family, friendship, et cetera. So it’s fair to say that we’re going to share some common goals, as we have many overlapping interests.
But success is a little deeper than these things. Deeper than family? Deeper than safety? Deeper than health? Well, yes. The thing is that for the most part these are necessities. Just to live we require some connection, a certain standard of health, a certain level of wealth, and basic security in the form of shelter and possessions. These aren’t really wants as much as they’re needs.
And success is not about needs, it’s all about wants. Granted, if your wants don’t extend past your needs then that is entirely your decision, but I would suggest extending your wish list a little for a more exciting life. I believe that it’s from our common desire for life’s necessities that we get the idea that a house and a car is the image of success. Because it’s universally understood that most people have at least some interest in acquiring a place to live and a means of transport.
But above these necessities that we all aspire for, whether it be a mansion or a shanty shack, there lie bigger questions about what it means to be alive and what you might want to do with this life. Otherwise, the marker for success is placed merely on survival.
The Definition
To truly define success we have to turn inward, not to any external notion of success. But what can help us in our quest to define success is Cambridge English Dictionary’s definition: the achieving of the results wanted or hoped for.
Your answer to what it means to be successful is found in the definition of the word success. But, because life is never simple, the answer is not entirely in the definition. Rather, the definition of the word provides a great framework to fully answer the question of success for yourself. So what can we grasp from this definition?
Achieving
Fundamental to success is the concept of achievement; success must have a finish line, and in order to be successful you must cross it. As much as some people may not like this interpretation of success, the truth is that in order to become successful one must define what success is. And to define what success is, you must also define what success is not. Your finish line lives between these two definitions.
It’s certainly possible to define success as something you already have, however generally speaking, when you define success you won’t already have it; you’ll be living the definition that matches what success is not. But achieving means to take yourself from living a life that doesn’t match your definition of success, over the line that is your definition of success, to living a life that does match your definition of success; whatever that process might look like for you.
And as much as I don’t like to say it, success is black and white, you either have it or you don’t. This is not some universal law, it’s just how definitions work. So be wise about what you set as your definition of success.
Results
If achieving is about the doing, then what are the results?
If achieving is the action that takes you from unsuccessful to successful by crossing the line that is success, the results are the line. Results, the outcomes of your actions are the very purpose of success. Because to define success is to decide for yourself which outcomes in life would make you successful.
Fundamentally, success is all about results. Specifically, what would I like to experience in this lifetime, and at what point will I consider myself successful as a result of having reached these experiences? This touches on what it truly means to be successful, a partial answer to our question today.
I can’t put it any simpler: the results of your actions is where success is achieved.
Wants and Hopes
Each word in the definition of success has taken us deeper into the meaning of success, but this is where we hit rock bottom. We’ve briefly covered achievement (the work required to reach success), results (the outcomes that define success), but now we have to talk about how we decide on the outcomes that define success (wants and hopes).
Because success is not laid out in front of us on a silver platter, there is no universal definition of success. Even if many people share the same definition, these are still individual choices, not a universal definition. An individual defines success for themself, even if their choice is inspired by others.
Your definition of success cuts to the core of what it means to be you. When you draw the line that defines success, or even if you refuse to define success, you’re making a statement about who you are and what you want/don’t want from this life. Success is a deeply personal endeavour that asks you fundamental questions about the purpose and meaning of your life.
From the infinite expanse of possible choices you could make in this world, to define a specific reality as success is an extremely informative choice about who you are, but also who you desire to be.
There is no universal definition of success, there is only your definition of success; something that is deeply rooted in your own psychology, life experience, and sense of purpose.
So if you’re looking for the answer to what it means to be successful, you need to ask yourself, and no one else. You need to examine your wants, desires, and motivations. To work out what you want to do with your life, what life means to you, and what’s worth chasing after in the infinite pool of potential choices.
Interestingly enough, I feel we always have a definition of success hidden within us, the subtle finish line that we’re perpetually chasing, maybe without even recognising it. Why get up in the morning? What’s the point of bothering with life? There must be something that motivates us to continue living? Success in its most basic form is to continue life itself, but it’s up to you to take this desire further should you wish to.
Borrowing Success
In a sense, people in a society aren’t all that different to cells in a body. We’re individuals that work together to form a larger organism. And with that unified interaction we’re bound to adopt ideas and conceptions from one another, often seemingly by accident.
Which is why it’s important to assess not only your idea of success but also how you came to your decision. Because your definition of success is an entirely personal endeavour, in the sense that the decision is made internally, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be influenced or inspired by others. If anything, it might even be a good thing to be inspired by others when it comes to defining success. The important thing is not where your definition of success comes from, it’s that you made your choice consciously.
If you were to take every person on earth and ask for their definition of success, you could average it into the most general definition of success, and much of that would have to do with the things we touched on earlier, such as safety, security, family, and what not. But the important thing to remember is that you are free to choose the definition of success for yourself, beyond any generally conceived idea of success.
The thing is, if you hold a definition of success that you didn’t consciously define for yourself, something we all probably have a little bit of, as we pick many things up from other people, this creates an issue. Not so much in the sense that your definition of success would be bad, as maybe you picked up a healthy definition of success that suits your wants and desires, although that’s probably quite unlikely. The problem is that you didn’t consciously define success for yourself.
Undoubtedly there are people out there that dream for a big house and a nice car as their definition of success, and as simplified of an idea as that may be, and as justified as they are to live the life they want, I question how thought out of an idea that is.
Did they really sit and think about the purpose of their life? Who they are and what they want? Maybe, it’s hard to say. All I care about is that they made their decision for themself and that they didn’t imitate the people around them out of a lack of self awareness; an unfortunate reality many people get stuck in.
The Answer
Fundamentally success is all in your head, there is no success other than the one you pick for yourself. We may share common ideas of success, often rooted in fundamental human needs such as shelter and transport, but when it comes to the deeper stuff, we often divert from one another drastically.
Some people see making a lot of money as success, others couldn’t care less about money as long as they are having an impact on the world, some are content to live in isolation pursuing their craft, and others desire to see every corner of the globe; the only thing they have in common is that their definition of success is rooted in their deepest desires.
The man that lives in a New York penthouse and the man that lives on an isolated island in the Philippines may have little in common other than their desire to chase their own definition of success.
In some sense, the definition of success you set for yourself is also the definition of you. Because to define success is to put a finish line on your purpose in life, to say that once I reach this definition I will have made it.
Something which can be scary to define, as you only get one life. But I live with the understanding that there is no way to remove your definition of success, it can be changed but not erased. Everyone is looking for something, even if that something is nothing.
In my opinion, it’s this “universalness” that creates so much confusion around the idea of success. As we all have a definition of success, yet nobody shares the exact same one, and some people don’t even know theirs. Success is an elusive concept as it lives in the minds of individuals only.
To make things more difficult, not only does success only exist in your mind, it can change at any moment. Success is fluid, in the sense that you always have the capacity to change it little by little or entirely if you’re up to the challenge. You may chase one goal your entire life and then throw it all out and go in a new direction at the last moment; nothing is stopping you.
As success is a definition, it’s always open to being reimagined. And lucky for you, you don’t have to ask anyone for permission or update the dictionary every time you want to change your definition of success. It’s as simple as making the choice to be someone different.
Your definition of success is very much linked to who you are, so keep that in mind when you’re playing with your definition of success, because to change your definition is to change who you are, but also who you’re going to become.
In some sense, your definition of success is a statement about who you are and what you value.
So make sure it’s a good definition, your life depends on it.
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This was a wonderful conversation about a complicated term with so much behind it to unpack. I find myself often happy to settle for small successes instead of dreaming big. I think this is partly because I prize peace and authentic, individual connections in my introverted way, so security and family are all I need to be content. But also partly because I am scared from the warnings of stories I've grown up hearing that success will always cost something, and sometimes that cost is to your personal purpose, passion, heart (is there a word I'm forgetting that encompasses all these? 😅)